August 4, 2009

I TOLD you I didn't like hiking.

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You know how every summer, people fall off cliffs and mountains and there are all those creepy murders on trails and stuff? Basically, lots of scary and dead people out in nature. And that, my friends, is the premise of A Perfect Getaway.

Steve Zahn and Milla Jovavich star in this silly, tepid suspense flick that pits couple against couple in hand-to-hand combat on the Hawaiian islands. Cliff and Cydney (Zahn and Jovavich) are happy honeymooners embarking on a hike in the dreamy waterfalls of the islands. They meet Nick and Gina (Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez), and the four decide to hike to the falls together.

Suspicions on both sides taint their conversations and interactions and personal stories about their pasts spill out unexpectedly and their relationship deepens as they get comfortable with each other.

Then. There is fighting and running and stabbing and shooting. [Story in a nutshull.]

Steve Zahn should really stick to comedy. He's not believeable as a serious human being. And I haven't seen Milla Jovavich in anything since she was in a Disney miniseries when she was a kid, so I can't compare it to anything. But her acting was labored. And I didn't care what happened to either of them. The character development was... lame.

The far more capable and believeable actors were Olyphant and Sanchez, who captured my interest from the beginning - there was a depth there that wasn't with Zahn and Jovavich.

Anyhow. The movie wasn't scary. Really at all. There were a few jumpy moments, but it was never scary. Which I was disappointed in, because I love scary movies. There were holes in the movie that were never explained and that annoyed me because that is just lazy storytelling.

It did reinforce my attitude on why exploring the outdoors should be left to the wild animals and the certified nature people. Because there are lots of scary and dead people in the outdoors.

**Note: No, I will not go camping/hiking/caving with you. Do you think I'm stupid? Murderer!

Rent it when you're bored. This is a Saturday afternoon trash tv movie at best.

Opens Friday in theaters everywhere.


Sara said...

Milla was in the Fifth Element. I highly recommend you watch it, if you are still getting your sci-fi education. Visually it is cool.

Steve was good in the Christian Bale film Rescue Dawn.

But too bad they didn't act well or the script wasn't fully developed with this one.

The Blackthornes said...

Mila was also in the Resident Evil movies as Alice... She was okay in them. Still a bit stiff. But what can you expect from a series of movies based on video games?