August 23, 2006

Le Bistro Montage (301 SE Morrison)

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Do you remember when your mom used to yell at you to come in the house when you were at the neighbor's house? "Elizzzzzaaaabbbeeetttthhh!" Yep, that's the sound. We had only been on the waiting list at Le Bistro Montage for about three minutes when the hostess, one foot inside the restaurant and one foot out, cupped her mouth and shouted my name in a mad-mom voice. Turns out, she wasn't really mad. It was just time for us to be seated.

We skipped the appetizers because they were out of black-eyed pea fritters and only had alligator and froglegs left. We went straight to the meal. Fried chicken breast with garlic mashed potatoes and vegetables, including broccoli, peas and greens cooked in some kind of yummy sauce. The chicken and potatoes were lacking a little salt, but other than that, it was perfect. I had a taste of the macaroni and cheese which was nice and saucy and also tasted the pork loin in apple chutney. Divine.

We were so excited to get the leftovers, which we had seen people exiting the restaurant with, wrapped creatively in tin foil sculptures. What would we go home with? A very eager to help waiter (maybe he was new) with long dredlocks came over and said "Let me move some of this stuff for you, so you can have a little more elbow room." That was nice. He took my plate, upon which I had painstakingly left a small portion of everything to be wrapped up. Splat. He grabbed the other plates and plopped them right on top of my carefully preserved potatoes. He took my friend Karen's plate and carried it separately from the others. Oh good, we thought. Karen is visiting from out of town and it will be nice that at least SHE will get a tin foil sculpture of her leftovers, which were quite a lot, actually.

Five minutes went by, 10 minutes. No sculpture. The same waiter came over and filled up our water glasses again. No sculpture. Our leftovers were gone forever. Now we HAVE to go back and eat more delicious food and leave even more on our plates so that we can get cool sculptures, like everyone else.

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August 20, 2006

The Farm Cafe (10 SE Seventh Ave)

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We thought there wasn't going to be any parking, but there was plenty. We thought we'd have to wait a long time to get a table. We were seated immediately. I thought I wasn't really that hungry, but then we got the hummus plate. Hummus on steamed arugula, with roasted red peppers, olives and crunchy, chewy pita bread. I thought I would never eat a meat substitute and enjoy it. I had seitan (soy-based meat substitute) tacos, with crunchy grilled vegetable salad and fresh salsa made with whole grape tomatoes. I savored each bite, even if I was sweating from the spiciness.

Organic vegetarian loveliness.

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August 8, 2006

Voodoo Doughnut (22 SW 3rd Ave.)

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Mango Tango
Orange-colored jelly exploding
My fingers sticking to everything
Crushed sweet tart candy powder
Glazed doughnut skin flakes on my shirt
Heartburn with a smile

What kinds have you tried?

August 7, 2006

Doug Fir Lounge (830 E. Burnside)

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A couple of weeks ago when the heat was unbearable at 11:30 at night, my friends and I drove around aimlessly with the air conditioning on to escape the oppressive non-breeze. We couldn't think of an air-conditioned place open past midnight. Then my friend had a brilliant idea. What about the Doug Fir Lounge? Great place for concerts, but I had never eaten there. Incidentally, they are open from 7 am - 4am every day and they serve breakfast the WHOLE day.

The service was ridiculously slow, but the place was packed, so at least there was an excuse. They serve water in really nice wine bottles. That was a nice touch.

While we waited for our food in the air-conditioned-but-not-nearly-cold-enough restaurant, a really drunk guy came and sat next to me. He got within about 2 inches of my face and told us how he was getting kicked out of the bar because he had had too much to drink. He was really drunk. But he also smelled really good and was really handsome. Double plus. Almost negates the drunk part, but not quite.

I had a ridiculously fattening french cheese sandwich, dipped in batter and fried. So good, but so rich that I could only eat half of it. (My heart was grateful.)

The Doug Fir Lounge (which looks like a log cabin on the outside) is filled with beautiful people with beautiful clothes (to quote JR), beautiful tatoos and very chic glasses. Their service is crappy. Their food is good. Their drunk people are nice and friendly. They serve breakfast all day long.

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