Le Bistro Montage (301 SE Morrison)

Do you remember when your mom used to yell at you to come in the house when you were at the neighbor's house? "Elizzzzzaaaabbbeeetttthhh!" Yep, that's the sound. We had only been on the waiting list at Le Bistro Montage for about three minutes when the hostess, one foot inside the restaurant and one foot out, cupped her mouth and shouted my name in a mad-mom voice. Turns out, she wasn't really mad. It was just time for us to be seated.

We skipped the appetizers because they were out of black-eyed pea fritters and only had alligator and froglegs left. We went straight to the meal. Fried chicken breast with garlic mashed potatoes and vegetables, including broccoli, peas and greens cooked in some kind of yummy sauce. The chicken and potatoes were lacking a little salt, but other than that, it was perfect. I had a taste of the macaroni and cheese which was nice and saucy and also tasted the pork loin in apple chutney. Divine.

We were so excited to get the leftovers, which we had seen people exiting the restaurant with, wrapped creatively in tin foil sculptures. What would we go home with? A very eager to help waiter (maybe he was new) with long dredlocks came over and said "Let me move some of this stuff for you, so you can have a little more elbow room." That was nice. He took my plate, upon which I had painstakingly left a small portion of everything to be wrapped up. Splat. He grabbed the other plates and plopped them right on top of my carefully preserved potatoes. He took my friend Karen's plate and carried it separately from the others. Oh good, we thought. Karen is visiting from out of town and it will be nice that at least SHE will get a tin foil sculpture of her leftovers, which were quite a lot, actually.

Five minutes went by, 10 minutes. No sculpture. The same waiter came over and filled up our water glasses again. No sculpture. Our leftovers were gone forever. Now we HAVE to go back and eat more delicious food and leave even more on our plates so that we can get cool sculptures, like everyone else.

The Farm Cafe (10 SE Seventh Ave)

We thought there wasn't going to be any parking, but there was plenty. We thought we'd have to wait a long time to get a table. We were seated immediately. I thought I wasn't really that hungry, but then we got the hummus plate. Hummus on steamed arugula, with roasted red peppers, olives and crunchy, chewy pita bread. I thought I would never eat a meat substitute and enjoy it. I had seitan (soy-based meat substitute) tacos, with crunchy grilled vegetable salad and fresh salsa made with whole grape tomatoes. I savored each bite, even if I was sweating from the spiciness.

Organic vegetarian loveliness.

Voodoo Doughnut (22 SW 3rd Ave.)

Mango Tango
Orange-colored jelly exploding
My fingers sticking to everything
Crushed sweet tart candy powder
Glazed doughnut skin flakes on my shirt
Heartburn with a smile

What kinds have you tried?

http://www.voodoodoughnut.com

Doug Fir Lounge (830 E. Burnside)

A couple of weeks ago when the heat was unbearable at 11:30 at night, my friends and I drove around aimlessly with the air conditioning on to escape the oppressive non-breeze. We couldn't think of an air-conditioned place open past midnight. Then my friend had a brilliant idea. What about the Doug Fir Lounge? Great place for concerts, but I had never eaten there. Incidentally, they are open from 7 am - 4am every day and they serve breakfast the WHOLE day.

The service was ridiculously slow, but the place was packed, so at least there was an excuse. They serve water in really nice wine bottles. That was a nice touch.

While we waited for our food in the air-conditioned-but-not-nearly-cold-enough restaurant, a really drunk guy came and sat next to me. He got within about 2 inches of my face and told us how he was getting kicked out of the bar because he had had too much to drink. He was really drunk. But he also smelled really good and was really handsome. Double plus. Almost negates the drunk part, but not quite.

I had a ridiculously fattening french cheese sandwich, dipped in batter and fried. So good, but so rich that I could only eat half of it. (My heart was grateful.)

The Doug Fir Lounge (which looks like a log cabin on the outside) is filled with beautiful people with beautiful clothes (to quote JR), beautiful tatoos and very chic glasses. Their service is crappy. Their food is good. Their drunk people are nice and friendly. They serve breakfast all day long.

White Eagle Saloon (836 N. Russell St.)

The White Eagle Saloon is a McMenamins establishment. Food at any McMenamins is always the same. Eh. Edible, but nothing special. Not even worthy of a real review.

Mississippi Station (3943 N. Mississippi Ave.)

The restaurant is open! Hooray! The space next to Mississippi Studios is now Mississippi Station, serving amazing locally grown, organic meals in the backyard that merges beautifully with the backyard of the Studios, Airstream trailer and all!

The Station Burger is huge, with a pile of dijon-braised onions, Tillamook Cheddar Cheese, aioli and barbeque sauce. Served with hand-cut fries, crispy and salty right out of the fryer, the burger dripped lovely sauce all over my plate. It was perfect. For dessert, a grapefruit sorbet drizzled with Campari. My sister had berries with creme fraiche, sprinkled with fresh mint and fennel. That was AMAZING.

They put candles in mailboxes, randomly placed throughout the yard. Even next to the old gas pump and movie theater seats. Eat a bite. Hear some music. Enjoy the fresh air in the backyard. Suck in the ambiance and take it home with you.

The Green Room (2280 NW Thurman St)

Have you ever noticed that certain venues have customers that wear matching apparel? At the Green Room on Friday night, almost everyone was wearing a t-shirt with rips in it, hanging off their shoulders and ripped jeans. Oh also, almost everyone there was barely old enough to be there. Except for the parents of the singer/songwriters that were performing there that night. They were older than me. But everyone else was not more than 21. I swear.

My sister and I sat in the corner by the ticket taker/ID checker. He was friendly guy, and so were the waitstaff. They constantly filled up our drinks and took good care of us. We just ordered snacks - onion rings and sweet potato fries - which were average. The dinner menu looked good (barbeque sauce with red, yellow and orange peppers! Yum!) and I might be back to sample it sometime.

The first two singers that night were unknowns (at least to me). The first guy kind of mumbled and I couldn't understand a word he said or sang - until he sang Comfortable. He didn't sing it as well as the original singer, but it was pretty good. The next performer was Sarah Angela and it was her very first show. You could tell because for the hour and a half before she performed she was jumping up every five seconds to either answer her phone or hug someone coming in the door. She was bright and way too cheerful. I was skeptical of her talent, especially when she taped sheets of music to the microphone for her guitar player. But she sang a killer cover of Creep. It was rockin and blew my skepticism out of the water. We left when the cigarette smoke started infiltrating our brains through our eyes, once the noise ordinance kicked in and all the doors and windows were shut. I didn't get to stay long enough to hear Kirk Duncan, who I came to hear, but I did sit at the table next to him during the opening sets. Close as I was going to get to hearing him that night.

Next time I'll try the barbeque and hear my music. I'll have to rip a t-shirt and jeans and use my anti-aging moisturizer that day.