Where I don't remember anything.

"Remember when we used to come here when we were kids?" No. "Really? You don't remember sitting on the waterfront?" No. Not even a little bit. My sister and I were eating lunch in Poulsbo, Washington on the picturesque waterfront. I think I blocked out all my memories from middle school and high school in Olympia and any weekend day trips we may have taken as a family. She insisted that we used to go to Poulsbo all the time. I seriously have no recollection of any of it.

It's a nice little town with independent bookstores, bakeries and little restaurants. Just the type of town my parents would have taken us to and just the type of town that I would have sneered at and pouted while we ate at a quaint little bakery. I was a miserable kind of a teen, with lots of acidic attitude and smoldering rebellion that never quite erupted.

Twenty years has whipped me into relative normalcy and I now appreciate quaint towns as I am supposed to. And Poulsbo is very nice.


We ate lunch at JJ's Fish House on the waterfront while my sister recounted her memories of Poulsbo. I ordered the cod fish and chips. She ordered the halibut.

Now I have to say that I still don't get fish and chips. Is the fish supposed to have flavor? Or is it all about the sauces? Because the two big hunks of fried fish were bland. Very, very bland. The tartar sauce was full of tarragon and definitely helped the fish. But if it's all about the sauce, what do I need the fish for? The fish was covered in a tempura batter and had literally no seasoning in it and left a pool of oil on my plate, which I wasn't thrilled about. I love intense flavor though, and maybe the bland fish is supposed to be a canvas for the sauce, in which case it succeeded in being just that.


The poppyseed coleslaw was very flavorful and my favorite part of the meal. This is now my new memory of Poulsbo. A pretty waterfront, and a crunchy, sweet poppyseed coleslaw. The rest of it will go the way of my adolescence. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

An Experiment in Fish and Chips

We feed my British grandmother every Sunday. She eats a lot for a 91 year old and if there's one thing I like about her it's that she can appreciate the taste of well-made food. She said a couple of weeks ago that she'd been craving fish and chips like she had when she was a child. I sort of took it as a challenge. Never mind that I have pretty much no experience cooking fish (I'm scared of it) and pretty much no experience deep frying anything (a few burns thwarted my desire to have access to delicious fatty foods in my own home).

I started out by heading over to Rick's Wild Seafood food cart on SW 3rd and Ash downtown Portland. (I have to specify Portland since I live in the suburbs and West Linn is my frame of reference now. *sob*) Plus, they sell frozen cod for $3.40/lb, so I decided to pick some up while I was testing their professional fish and chips.

The poor girl at the cart was bundled up - it was freezing yesterday! I ordered my fish and chips and the girl re-fried the chips (which is what the British do. I checked online. So it must be accurate!) and threw the fish in the deep fryer. A few minutes later, I was warming my hands on the hot fries and fish, and filling my belly rather quickly. It happened to be my breakfast and lunch that day. The fish was crunchy and I could see the herbs in the crust. A squeeze of lemon was just what it needed. It was tame in flavor, which is the experience I have had with all the fish and chips I have ever had. Which is not many. Because as I said before, fish scare me. A bit.


Because my sense of what one pound of cod would amount to in fried fish is bizarrely off, I decided to play it safe and over do it by getting five pounds of cod to take home. FIVE. As it turns out, that is quite a lot of fish. Hello, freezer.

So anyway, this morning I started on my journey to make a real British fish and chips dinner. I started out by making the tartar sauce. Quite easy, actually. Sweet pickles, capers, flat leaf parsley, two teaspoons of spicy mustard, a dash of Worcestershire sauce and a cup of mayo in the food processor. Mine turned out a little green due to perhaps an over abundance of parsley, but I liked it that way.

I made coleslaw with shredded cabbage and one shredded sweet onion and a vinegar-based dressing and let it marinate. Chopped up the Russet potatoes into thick, bite-sized pieces, tossed them with olive oil and salt and threw them in the oven to bake. I wasn't going to attempt frying everything. Especially because my parents don't generally eat fried food, and I didn't want to kill them off.

Keeping that in mind, I decided to make some baked fish as well as the traditional beer-batter fish. You know. Gotta please everyone.

The beer batter was very simple. Self-rising flour + a little salt & pepper + seafood seasoning + one bottle of beer (I used a brown English ale); whisked together until thickened and smooth.

For the baked fish, I dredged it in flour + seasoning, then egg bath, then homemade breadcrumbs with herbs. For both kinds of fish, I seasoned the fish first with salt and pepper and seafood seasoning. I am sort of a flavor fiend, so I seasoned probably way more than is traditional. But I liked it. A lot.


The fish baked for about 20 minutes at 350 and the fish fried in 3 inches of hot canola oil for about 2-3 minutes, depending on the size of the piece of fish. I was by no means consistent in the sizing, so we had small pieces and large pieces. The fried fish was moist and flaky and perfectly cooked. The seasoning came through in the crust quite well. The baked fish was drier and maybe a bit overcooked, but still tasted good.

To round out the British meal, I heated up some peas, then drained them and smashed them with yogurt and salt and pepper.


It was a hit. My grandmother loved it and said it was just like her mother used to make. I wonder if my great-grandmother was a flavor fiend, too.


*Photos of my fish and chips dinner by the lovely Chelsea Fuss.

The Smallest Restaurant Group Ever Goes To An Oyster Bar and Eats Burgers

The menu at Alberta St. Oyster Bar and Grill looks amazing. Besides oysters, they have things like smoked duck, braised pork cheeks, grilled halibut, wild mushroom risotto - I mean does that not sound scrumptious?

But - alas - the restaurant group, or lack thereof, was afraid of the word oyster, I think and either failed to repond or declined to attend. So. It was me, my friend Ansley and my sister Chelsea. We were not afraid. Mostly, we were not afraid of happy hour.

When we got there, we decided not only were we not afraid of happy hour, we were not afraid of the waiter who insisted on carding us at the bar, only to declare that he was shocked at our ages - he never would have guessed that we were almost the same age as he was! He thought we were much younger.

The truffled fries were a must and so was the burger - I was famished and not in the mood for any culinary adventure that did not involve breading and frying, so I ordered the fried oysters. The bartender made me a tangy pomegranate lime drink to sip on while we waited for our food.

Chelsea ordered a burger too. Ansley ordered the grilled rare tuna with quinoa, greens, and saffron lobster cream. Sounded delicious, but not as much as the grilled burger with blue cheese and caramelized onions on a toasted ciabatta roll.

The fries were more truffle-y than any other truffle fries I have had - and I liked it. Very different, but still fried. The oysters. The oysters were good. For the first ever oysters that I have had - I had nothing to compare them to. They were still slimy. But breaded and fried and slimy, with a spicy sauce to dip them in. I could totally handle it. But I kept going back to the fries.

The burger was close to what I had at Yakuza a while back, but not as big, which was totally fine with me. The place filled up fast and was abuzz with oyster eaters. Our friend Laura showed up and ordered... what else. A burger.

We sat, very cozy at the bar, watching one of the waiters erase and re-write the chalkboard with the oyster selections on it. I started talking about my day, which happened to include a lot of inappropriate conversations and well, I think more people heard me than I intended. Oops. The waitstaff was very gracious though and didn't balk if they overheard us, or when I broke my own cardinal rule of restaurant-group dining and handed them my card, along with everyone else's cards.

We continued our inappropriate converstions, left the Oyster Bar and went to buy a Christmas tree. We put the tree on the front porch and watched Lars and the Real Girl. It made me say to myself: "Good for you for not being as freaky as that guy." So pat me on the back the next time you see me, k? But not too much. I might try to run away.

North 45 Pub (517 NW 21st Avenue)

Here's the thing: I was going to wait and post this later, but I am so excited about what I ate tonight that I simply cannot withhold my enthusiasm any longer. I am not a seafood person. I have just recently begun to eat prawns, crab, and tonight - mussels. I am so proud. I am 34 and yet my palette is not fully formed. I can still add appetite likes and dislikes to my brain. So cool.

North 45 Pub is a tiny place on NW 21st that has a casual feel. Maps line the walls - a perfect complement to the marble-ish tables and comfy booths. It's busy, but not overwhelmingly so. They specialize in mussels. Which I had never eaten before tonight. But they sounded so damn good that I could not hold back. This is what I ordered: Mussels with Chorizo sausage, tomatoes, toasted cumin, and garlic with chili-lime frites. I know. Delicious, huh?

It was surprisingly filling and the broth that the mussels were steamed in was especially tasty, with chunks of tomatoes and garlic. And the chili-lime frites were delicious as well. For every type of mussel they have, they have a matching type of frite. Here are some of the other choices of mussels:

PROVENCAL – Diced tomato concasse, garlic, fresh lemon, and herbs de Provence with sea salt herb frites

GREEN ONION CARDAMOM – Scallion, chive, toasted cardamom, and clam broth with old bay frites

COCONUT LEMONGRASS – Coconut milk, garlic, smashed lemongrass, ginger, and lime juice with curry frites

CRISPY PANCETTA AND ROASTED SHALLOTS – Cured pancetta ham, oven-roasted shallots, and garlic white wine butter with sea salt herb frites

LEMON PARSLEY CAPER – Fresh lemon juice, Italian parsley, toasted garlic, and crispy capers with old bay frites

STOUT – Stout beer, pan roasted garlic, fresh thyme, and bitter cocoa with sea salt herb frites

COGNAC CREAM – Toasted garlic, thyme, fresh cream, finished in butter and cognac with old bay frites

Can you imagine how many times you could go back and try something so completely different? And I'm just talking about the mussels, here - not even mentioning the portabello mushroom sandwich, the spinach salad or the fish and chips.

We sat and talked for a while - they played great music, loud enough to sing along, but still able to converse without shouting. Postal Service, Jack Johnson, Moby, Pink Martini and Silver Sun Pickups. I'm not sure if it was the mussels, the atmosphere or the music, but that was the most enjoyable dinner I've had in a long time.

South Park (901 SW Salmon St.)

Birthday celebration on Friday the 20th. South Park. Friends, free dessert and one big fat bill. It was a fun night.

The almond-stuffed dates wrapped in jamon serrano were just as good this time as the time before. Rich ordered oysters and I almost had one, then decided I didn't want to remember my birthday as one where I was fighting my super strong gag reflex at the dinner table and losing to a soft stomach. No oysters for me.

The waitress with an exotic accent (French?) was patient with us as our group trickled in one by one. Twelve all together. My friend Tina's daughter Juniper brought me a homemade paper vase with freshly picked flowers. That doesn't happen very often! Thanks, Juni!

My dinner of pork loin with gnocchietti was slowly enjoyed. The pork was perfectly cooked, moist and with juices still flowing. The sweet fruit compote that topped it was the perfect complement to savory pork and the crispy gnocchietti. For dessert I had Rich Chocolate Brandy Mousse Semi-Sweet Chocolate Served with Pistachio Vacherin with Cherry Yogurt Gelato . It looked amazing and shocker, it tasted amazing. And the waitress overheard that it was my birthday, so my dessert was complimentary. Very nice.

South Park has good atmosphere and amazing food. It's maybe a little expensive for a large group. Some of us left early, and we didn't realize until later when we paid the bill that someone didn't put their money in. Not sure who, but it was probably just an oversight. Awkward! Several of my friends pitched in to cover the diff. Thanks, guys!

The dinner was a great end to a great day. I turned 34! I couldn't drag anyone dancing with me and I was secretly relieved because I was tired. I hope it's not a sign of old age.

**Note: There is a cool article about the chef of South Park, Broc Willis, in the current issue (volume 12) of Portrait of Portland magazine. The article even includes a few recipes from the gourmet restaurant.

Mo's (195 Warren Way, Cannon Beach)

I think I have to move out of Oregon or risk getting kicked out by what I am about to write. I don't like Mo's. Their food is not good. On a scale of tastiness ranging from hospital food to the best gourmet restaurant in Portland, Mo's hovers right below cafeteria food. Granted, I do not usually eat seafood, so when I go there, I don't get their famous clam chowder. But I would think that if they are so good at making clam chowder, that their culinary talents might spill over into other dishes, at least a little bit. I ordered pasta with grilled chicken. What I got was a mess of overcooked fettucine with a glop of thick, white sauce that I'm pretty sure was a variation on the chowder base they sell maybe with some gelatin added, with a pile of flavorless, stretchy cheese and some slices of grilled chicken that hadn't been cut all the way. No onions. No garlic. No seasonings of any type. The salad was like cafeteria salad: crisp, browning and watery.

The only reason to eat at Mo's is for the view. But you can walk right out on Tolovana Beach and get an unobstructed view of the ocean that supercedes any view you get at Mo's. There are so many good restaurants in Cannon Beach. Mo's is not one of them.